A girl can dream, right?

I don't usually do the "I gotta tell you about my dream last night" thing, because it bores most people to tears, but this one was so bizarre I have to tell someone, and you all, my gentle readers, are most definitely "someone".

I dreamt that I was hired by the NASCAR Corporation (and really- is NASCAR an actual corporation?) as a freelance writer to work on a manual called "Policies and Procedures for Intra-Vehicle Interaction Events". It seems that the suits at NASCAR (surely they have to have at least one suit or two) found, after conducting many focus groups, that the term "crash" caused discomfort for NASCAR staff and drivers. Thus, the word "crash" would now be replaced by the phrase "Intra-Vehicle Interaction Events", and a manual was commissioned to document policies and procedures for the aftermath of such "events". Additionally, the NASCAR Corporation was in the process of "rebranding" and "remarketing" NASCAR in order to appeal to white collar, upper-middle class folk who might be put off by the mayhem suggested by the term "crash".

Yes, I'm a dork.

I woke up in the middle of the night and absolutely had to tell Redmond. Then I fell back asleep and had another bizarre dream.

I was reading CNN online in my dream, and read about a recently uncovered scandal. Apparently, the American Cardiovascular Disease Society (not sure there is one of those either) had hired a model to do public service spots on television to raise awareness of the dangers of Cardiovascular Disease and the avoidance of this common, too-prevalent Western epidemic. So, many of us know that Cardiovascular Disease is the number one cause of death in the United States.

Anyway, it seems that, in my dream, much like the bizarre and creepy Holocaust Denial Movement, there was also a Cardiovascular Disease Denial Movement that claimed there was no significant problem in America with Cardiovascular Disease, and that, in fact, the Cardiovascular Disease Awareness campaign was a conspiracy by the Left to convince Americans to eat "Socialist Health Food" and push Americans more towards liberalism. The American Cardiovascular Disease Society discovered that the model they hired was actually a key player in this Cardiovascular Disease Denial Movement and was acting as a "double agent".

Once again, I am not only a dork but am somewhat "not right" as well. ;-)

Carry on...